I'm sitting here by my phone waiting for that call. It could be my big comeback. Sixteen years ago I made my TV debut as a Gelf in Red Dwarf. What? you don't know what a Gelf is? It's a Genetically Engineered Life Form, of course. Which meant I had to wear a sack over my head – this was a BBC budget, remember – and stand in a field all day while Craig Charles and co ran around being daft. It was the golden age of Red Dwarf, when "smeg off" was a common term of abuse and Chris Barrie had only just started moonlighting on the Brittas Empire.

Now 15 years on and ten years since the last series, Red Dwarf – like Reggie Perrin and Minder – is about to re-enter the telly stratosphere. The Dave Channel is having a special Red Dwarf weekend, starting on April 10, and the highlight is two new episodes of the classic sci-fi sitcom. All the original crew is back, which is a good start, and original co-writer Doug Naylor is onboard too. Details are thin, but it has been revealed that the crew make it back to earth.

So will it be a safe return or a crash landing? It's a long time and tastes have moved on. Red Dwarf has a large, devoted following, but this can be both a blessing and a curse. Those fans who adored the team's laddish antics  will be watching every moment when it returns but will be extra critical. Will Kryten be as robotically idiotic as ever? Will Rimmer be as much of a total spanner as ever? And will the Cat still be cool? Most of all, can we ever take Craig Charles seriously as curry-chomping slob Lister safter a combination of tabloid scandals and appearances in Coronation Street?

Anyway, I'm waiting for my call. It's not too late to cast me – I'm even happy to supply my own sack. 

Interesting how Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand handled their comebacks over the last week. Brand, who has just set out on a UK tour, got a big chunk of his act out of it. His excitable singing of  "I am the News!" to the theme tune of News At Ten was a particular highlight.

Jonathan Ross, on the other hand, walked onstage on Friday's night's (pre-recorded) BBC1 show, said "Now, where were we" and after a little bit of seriousness got on with business as usual. Although he still couldn't resist a crack when he was interviewing Tom Cruise, suggesting that if the film star ever wanted to get some time off Ross could give him some tips on how to get it.

So while Brand was being as playfully naughty as ever, Ross, initially at least, seemed a little restrained. When he quizzed the frankly bland Cruise on his bedroom behaviour he was referring to how he dealt with flatulence, not prying into conjugal matters.

Yet now it seems that Ross has been targetted as an over-paid public enemy number one yet again. There has been a flurry of outrage over a gag on his Saturday morning R2 show about an elderly woman with Alzheimers disease having sex. Is he about to find himself in hot water again just as the last boiling point has cooled off?

This is all getting a little ridiculous. If Ross really is as offensive as some suggest then the people who don't like that sort of thing need not listen to it. They should know what to expect. Though having said that a few questions remain unanswered. In this age of broadcasting transparency, I've not heard whether Ross's radio show was pre-recorded just to be on the safe side. Then again, the original Sachsgate incident was pre-recorded and that still went out.

The trouble is that Ross – and Brand – make a living out of talking. Both gabble away as fast as an express train and maybe it is no surprise that their mouths open before their brain engages. Sometimes express trains go off the rails.  If Ross was rude again on Saturday morning, this is less to do with him being outrageous and more to do with the fact that like Brand, his mental edit button doesn't always work as quickly as it should.. 

We all say things we regret. Because of Ross's popularity – and also now, his notoriety – people are listening to him closer than ever. And in bigger numbers. Friday night's BBC1 return notched up an extra million viewers. I would imagine if a group of tabloid reporters heard every word most of us said we'd all be in the doghouse on a regular basis. I suppose the real trouble is that the rest of us don't have an £18 million contract with the BBC. I don't think the fact that Ross pushing the boundaries of taste is anything to do with fatcat arrogance, it is more to do with the fact that sometimes he simply doesn't know when to shut up. The problem the Beeb is going to have is that if his ratings stay as sky-high as they were last Friday, they might have to pay him even more when his contract is up for renewal.

It does not say much about broadcasters' confidence in new writing when they fall back on reviving something tried and tested. There seems to be a lot of this about at the moment. Hot on the heels of the Survivors "reimagining" it has just been confirmed by the BBC that Martin Clunes is going to recreate the classic lead role made famous in the seventies by Leonard Rossiter, in a remake of The Fall And Rise Of Reginald Perrin. It will now be called simply Perrin and no doubt there will be lots of headlines about Reggie behaving very badly.

Clunes is always good value and quality writer Simon Nye is working on it with Reggie's creator David Nobbs, which sounds good. The only thing that worries me is that we have slightly been here before with The Legacy of Reginald Perrin, the 1996 series that, unlike the forthcoming version gathered together original cast members, but like the forthcoming version, lacked the real star, Leonard Rossiter, due to Rossiter being dead. Which is a bit like Hamlet without Hamlet.

This vogue for cover version comedy doesn't end there. Writers Galton and Simpson are to remake some of their seminal scripts written for the likes of Tony Hancock, this time for Radio 2. This would also be a double dose of deja vu. Paul Merton took on the Hangdog Hancock role in some ITV remakes in the nineties.

Galton and Simpson are reportedly hoping the likes of Ricky Gervais and Peter Kay will appear this time round, which would certainly be interesting (Gervais in the Blood Donor episode definitely appeals), but this is a horrible trend. It doesn't matter how good the old scripts are, television and radio should not be looking back, otherwise where will future classics come from? If they think Nobbs, Galton and Simpson are such great writers why don't they commission them to write something new instead?

I wish everyone involved the best with these revivals, but it does make me wonder where it will end. In 25 years will the BBC be casting some current young whippersnapper like new Dr Who Matt Smith in the role of David Brent in a remake of The Office? The very thought of it makes me want to gouge my own eyes out with a sonic screwdriver.

Well, so much for comedians taking over the world. Jonathan Ross might still be in broadcasting purdah and Russell Brand has been relatively reclusive, but you can usually rely on gagsmiths in the Celebrity Big Brother house. I was particularly hopeful that there would be some witty input this time when I heard that the producers wanted to inject fun into this year's house to cheer the country up.

Instead, however, we've got a bog standard line-up of blasts from the past, B-listers and too many Americans. Verne Troyer might have been in some decent comedy films but is something of a one trick pony, while Ulrika Jonsson's laudable work with Vic and Bob has been overshadowed by her overtime with Sven Goran Eriksson.

It's enough to make you nostalgic for the year that Jack Dee appeared. Or even the year that Les Dennis went into meltdown. Although maybe that's the reason they've steered clear of clowns this time – Dennis and Dee suggested that comedians might like a laugh onstage, but on reality TV cracking a smile is harder than eating a kangaroo's anus.

And then what about the new Dr Who? Eddie Izzard had been suggested as a possible future Timelord. Izzard could have combined a wonderful blend of surrealism and intellectualism: "Oooh yes, Daleks, um, ooh er, you didn't see many Cybermen in Ancient Rome did you? Silver never looked good in a toga..." But when the casting crunch came he did not get the call.

I'm disappointed in new Who boss Steven Moffat. He is a man with a pretty good comedy pedigree. He wrote the irritating Coupling but also the much underrated Joking Apart. He could have put some real winning wit into the role. Instead he has gone for Matt Smith, a bloke with the floppy fringe of a Brideshead Revisited extra sponsored by Shockwaves and the forehead of Frankenstein. Wait a minute, on second thoughts that sounds rather funny. Who needs comedians after all?