Russell Brand in kinky sex shocker? Nothing new there then, except that this is slightly different. Footage has reportedly emerged on the net of Brand allegedly inserting a toy doll up his bottom during an early gig. Now I don't know whether the footage is authentic. It may or may not be. The credit crunch combined with a sense of decorum means I'm not really prepared to shell out the 99p to download it and although I can apparently watch it for free I'm a bit wary about registering on new websites.

Then again, we've all got our skeletons in the closet. It's just that Brand's pre-fame antics sometimes aren't the kind that would appear on an edition of Before They Were Famous. But you name a celebrity and chances are they've done something embarrassing in their past. Brand's chum Jonathan Ross advertised household products as a child, Michael Portillo plugged Ribena before he had a vote. OK, not in the same league as Brand, but you get my drift.

We've all done things for money when we've been a little short of cash but not short of ambition. The list of female stars who have appeared nude in films during their years of struggle would be a pretty big one. Brand's early work certainly had more validity than those outings, laying the groundwork for his skilful stand-up performances today.

Of course, some people do things for money, in Brand's case he probably did it for art. Pushing back the boundaries and all that, which I'm all in favour of. Though given his past, drugs may have been involved too. He is totally clean now, of course, so we can console ourselves with the fact that he won't be getting up to this sort of thing ever again. Though personally on reflection I think I'd rather pay 99p to see Brand's early act than his appearance in the new film Bedtime Stories.

I take my last post back. I do miss Jonathan Ross. After watching Angus Deayton on Saturday night's utterly lacklustre British Comedy Awards I'm praying that Ross will be back next year – I'll even chip in a fiver towards his fee if he's feeling a bit strapped for cash. Sometimes it takes a truly dull show like this to remind you that maybe certain people are worth the millions we pay them after all...

By the way, if you missed the whole programme the only thing you really missed was Inbetweeners head honcho Iain Morris brilliantly catching a bottle lobbed at him. Never mind television, the England cricket team needs people like him.

Have a look here...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mZvMHVOhbYM

There’s that old saying, used in a song by Craig David, you don’t miss your water till the well runs dry. Lately, however, I’ve been thinking that maybe you don’t miss your Rossy when he’s on enforced sabbatical. I’ve been an enthusiastic fan of Jonathan Ross through thick and thin – and we aren’t just talking waistlines here – for over 20 years and when he went off the air for something that even Osama Bin Laden must know about by now I was sorry that he was gone. Radio 2 on Saturday mornings was a bit grim. Friday nights on BBC1 wasn’t the same.

And yet. And yet. I’ve been getting on with my life and nothing much seems to have changed. I’m not more gloomy, I’m not more happy. In fact there are positives. I get more things done on Saturday mornings because I don’t have a reason to have an extended breakfast and I’m not so bothered about staying in on Friday nights or remembering to spark up the old recorder if I go out.

This all came to mind when I saw a copy of yesterday’s Guardian with a picture of Ross on the front. He has apparently designed some charity wrapping paper. Not quite in the same league as former minister John Profumo cleaning toilets after resigning from Parliament in the sixties, but then Ross’s behaviour wasn’t on a par with the government-rocking Profumo scandal – and I can’t see them making a film out of Sachsgate in twenty-five years.

Anyway, I digress. It was funny seeing Ross in the paper. And even funnier to think that I hadn’t given any recent thought to someone whose profile was so prominent a couple of months ago. It is going to be weird when Ross comes back in 2009 – the BBC will be unlikely to hype it up given the reasons for his absence, but on the other hand it will be a big deal. The whole matter has made me wonder about a lot of things to do with the nature of modern celebrity in general and how Ross feels at the moment, being out of the limelight.

This modern version of limbo is going to be particularly odd on Saturday night when the British Comedy Awards is broadcast. It is an event Ross has always hosted until this year and he is up for an award himself. It is usually an irreverent affair, so will replacement Angus Deayton be commenting on Sachsgate, or will he be tight-lipped about the elephant in the room? Will Ross be there? This is a really odd one. Would Ross like to be the butt of a Deayton dig or would he rather they kept quiet? It all brings to mind another famous saying, this one by Oscar Wilde rather than Craig David: “There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about. And that’s not being talked about.”