As Vic Reeves used to say, "You wouldn't let it lie." Industry gossip suggests that there is talk of reviving the Carry On franchise, this time with Russell Brand in the lead in a film called Carry On To The Next Round. The plot involves an X Factor-type show in which the judges bicker and fight with each other and one falls for a contestant. Girl Aloud Sarah Harding has also been linked to this spurious project about which a) it sounds strangely similar to the forthcoming ITV series Rock Rivals b) the best thing about it is the reasonably clever title.

We've been here before of course. A few years back there was talk of making Carry On London, but that seemed to disappear down the development plughole. Whether there is anything concrete to this latest story is another matter. Gossip snippets can sometimes be PRs taking a flyer, planting space-fillers in the press to see if there is any interest in the project, much in the same way that 'government leaks' have been known to be planned to see how a policy will go down if it is officially announced. Then again, the whole thing could have been concocted on a quiet news day from the thinnest of offhand remarks as an excuse to run another picture of dishy Russell Brand. And regarding Brand, I can't bring myself to believe he would be up for this anyway because a) he has his sights set on Hollywood, not Cricklewood, b) surely he has learnt his lesson from his role in the recent laughable – and not in a good way – St Trinians revival.

Let's just hope this doesn't go any further. I'm sadly old enough to remember when the franchise was revived for Carry On Columbus in 1992. It seemed like a good idea at the time, as there was a whole new alternative comedy gang – Alexei Sayle, Rik Mayall, Keith Allen etc – who could put their own spin on the classic formula and make their mark. The result, however, was a ridiculous rehash of rudeness with few emerging with any credit.

If you really want to enjoy a ridiculous Carry On romp there is no need to make a new one, the DVDs of the originals are out there and probably going cheap. Who could forget Carry On Camping, with Babs Windsor's bra popping off during morning exercises or Sid James playing a randy dolly bird chaser even though he was pushing sixty. They clearly don't make 'em like that any more. And let's just hope they don't try.