"Comedy? In Hayes? Best of luck mate." On the way to his gig at the Beck Theatre on Monday night, Russell Howard's cabbie gave him an ominous warning. And he was partly right. Howard went down a storm with most of the people there, but the venue was about half full. This was for a comedian who regularly appears on television and recently completed a one-month sell-out run at the Edinburgh Festival.

I don't know what it is about Hayes, but I've been to a few shows there by big acts and I've never been to one that has sold out. Maybe I've just been unlucky, but the Hayes crowd never strikes me as one whose collective heart is in comedy. People at the back were chatting, some were wandering out to the bar mid-show. It is hardly a part of London that has so much comedy it can take it for granted. So why is it some areas don't go for comedy in a big way?

The venue, a big modern concrete slab of a building, doesn't help, but there is something about the suburbs and comedy – they don't really get on. Croydon's Fairfield Halls, which is my nearest suburban venue, packs them in for the likes of Little Britain and League of Gentlemen, but the atmosphere is still utterly different to seeing these shows in the West End or even at Hammersmith's aircraft hangar Carling Apollo. Hayes and Croydon never strike me as the nicest places to live, which makes me wonder – do areas get the venues they deserve or do venues define their areas?

Gigs further out of town are weird too. The Swan in High Wycombe is another of my less favourite venues. The best thing about it is the handy adjacent car park. And as for Southend's Cliff Pavilion, going to a gig there feels like walking onto the set of Birds of a Feather.

This is not a snobbish metropolitan rant, of course. Central London club gigs can be pretty awful too, full of drunks, ignorant hecklers and stag and hen parties. If I ever see another pair of red devil's horns blocking my view on a Friday night I might just set fire to them. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that the comedy scene is packed with fabulously talented, constantly inventive entertainers I don't know how I'd manage to do my job. Now, if only I could get them to do all their gigs in my lounge I'd really be laughing.